"The War Within"

I started drinking when I was about thirteen. I would drink and smoke weed and cigarettes when ever I could. I was placed on probation for stealing and been in and out of Juvenile Hall all the way up till the age of eighteen.

I remember looking around at all my family drinking and partying thinking, there is no way out, this is all my life is ever going to be. It wasn't until I was twenty-one when I finally got clean. I wanted to do good and be sober but their was always that little reservation in the back of my head saying "One day I'll use again."

The realization hit me one day when I was walking home from an A.A. meeting, that I was never going to drink or use drugs again;This time it was real . I remember feeling sad like my heart was broken;Like I was loosing a good thing. I walked home slow that day kinda depressed. When I think about ending that relationship I can't believe that I was actually sad about saying goodbye to something that only brought me trouble.